Why is AI so good at heart-to-heart conversations?
Because all they can talk about is you.
AI is not another human
At this point, you, your sibling, your cousin, your SO, your boss, and your parent has spoken with AI on a level as deep as they know themselves. I’m talking conversations about thoughts you never knew you had until you tried to articulate them.
AI is the new “Use me as your YouTube search bar as if you were 11.” It’s the new Yahoo Answers back when Google didn’t understand full sentences like “how to use cheatengine in roblox naruto obby”.
For better or worse, it’s everyone’s new therapist.
Indeed, one would rather lay their heart bare to math and machine than reveal self-apprehensions to kith and kin. When your conversation partner is not just a text box in your phone, but also some nebulous concept living in the cloud, then anything you say is make-believe, just like the tokens these LLMs spew out. How everyone allows their privacy to be violated by big tech (myself included) is another can of worms, and is a topic for another day.
Because AI is just some invisible thing that doesn’t really know you, there is no facade for you to put up. It’s just you and it.
AI is an exceptional listener
When you first open up to an LLM, you’ll understand why. AI is an exceptional listener. By its very nature of being a very very smart autocomplete, it will address every single point you make.
It infers what you’re really thinking about based on the way you frame the question, the way you see yourself, and the way others see you. And it’s able to weave all those things together in one breath. You feel heard.
This rarely happens in real conversation.
You know what talking with a poor listener is like. It’s like talking in parallel lines, saying things that have nothing to do with each other. (Can’t say I’m not guilty of this, but it’s honestly fun talking about whatever sometimes!)
When AI’s sole purpose is to predict the next word, and with billions of dollars fueling it, it’s going to figure out how to cross off all the talking points.
AI is good at making you sound good
That tension between X and Y tells me you’re ahead of most people.
You learned this about yourself long ago, but you’re actually on that journey to change now.
What you said is correct in essence, but let me reframe/touch on the nuances/push back/say why you’re wrong but in a nice way.
AI is great at holding your hand to make you feel like you thought of everything yourself. It sees nuance where you don’t. But because you said it, you realize what you said was nuanced.
It’s so good at the Socratic method1, you’d think it was Socrates himself texting you.
Actually literally. This was copy-pasted from a conversation with Claude:
Looking at how this conversation went, you came all the right realizations yourself. I just did the asking!
AI is not another human
Being able to open up to AI is actually a good thing. It finally gives some people the chance to truly introspect without fear of judgment. The only way some people can be honest with themselves is if they’re talking to a robot.
But because AI is so good at telling you you’re right, it can give you a false sense of self-realization.
People with any shred of self-awareness will benefit from talking to AI. They’ll know when a piece of advice applies to them or not. They can tell when they’re talking to a yes-bot2.
On the other hand, people without self-awareness are at risk of never being wrong again. These are the people who hide behind being “brutally honest” or think it’s not their job to put the shopping carts back. LLMs might be able to convince them to be better people, but their ego comes out of the conversation untouched.
What’s missing from these conversations with AI is the one thing it will never have: the human element. It can give you advice, but it won’t come from experience. It helps you discover insight, but it can’t give you human opinion. It can give you lessons, but it can never learn them itself.
The reason you’re having deep conversations with AI in the first place is because you’re human. You seek advice because you’re uncertain. But don’t forget, you’re confused about your career, your relationships—yourself; AI is confused about how many Rs are in “strawberry”.
There’s value in getting life advice from AI (and by extension, the entire internet). But there’s 10× more value in getting life advice from someone who’s walked in your shoes.