Things people have said to me at the gym

Don't expect to talk to anyone at the gym and get an intelligible conversation out of it. Out of necessity, gym bros have developed a specialized sign language to counteract the mental degradation caused by rapidly evacuating blood out of the brain and into more important organs like the biceps.

But sometimes, you can catch them in a moment of weakness. About 90 seconds after putting a weight down, they will have caught their breath, thinking that they've regained their faculties too.

And then they open their mouth.

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Here's a running list of some gym brain moments that I think about in the shower and laugh to myself at sometimes:

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Want me to wipe this down for you?

No, you look clean enough.

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Want me to wipe this down for you?

No, you're good, man. Extra protein!

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Someone walks up to us.

Hey man, I just wanted to ask you something. How long have you been here?

My friend replies,

Oh yeah, I've been going to the gym seriously for about 2 years now. I took a break recently because of school, and now I'm trying to get back into it.

No, I meant the machine.

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I'll update this post whenever I am blessed with more gym brain moments. ✻